Found in my notes - a personal bill of rights

Personal Bill of Rights

I found this personal bill of rights on a folded piece of paper tucked away in my secretary after my move last Fall. The list includes a couple paragraphs about it afterwards which I will include at the end of the list. I figured I would post it here:

MY PERSONAL BILL OF RIGHTS

   1. I have numerous choices in my life beyond mere survival.
   2. I have a right to discover and know myself.
   3. I have a right to follow my own values and standards.
   4. I have a right to recognize and accept my own value system as appropriate.
   5. I have a right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or violates my values.
   6. I have a right to dignity and respect.
   7. I have a right to make decisions.
   8. I have a right to determine and honor my own priorities.
   9. I have a right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
  10. I have the right to terminate conversations with people when it leads me to feel put down and humiliated.
  11. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems.
  12. I have a right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
  13. I have a right to expect honesty from others.
  14. I have a right to all of my feelings.
  15. I have a right to be angry at someone I love.
  16. I have a right to be uniquely me, without feeling I'm not good enough.
  17. I have a right to feel scared and to say "I'm afraid."
  18. I have the right to experience and then let go of fear, guilt, and shame.
  19. I have a right to make decisions based on my feelings, my judgement or any reasons that I choose.
  20. I have a right to change my mind at any time.
  21. I have a right to be happy.
  22. I have a right to stability — i.e., "roots" and stable healthy relationships of my choice.
  23. I have the right to my own personal space and time needs.
  24. There is no need to smile when I cry.
  25. It is OK to be relaxed, playful and frivolous.
  26. I have the right to be flexible and be comfortable with doing so.
  27. I have the right to change and grow.
  28. I have the right to be open and to improve communication skills so that I may be understood.
  29. I have a right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
  30. I have a right to be in a non-abusive environment.
  31. I can be healthier than those around me.
  32. I can take care of myself, no matter what.
  33. I have the right to grieve over actual or threatened losses.
  34. I have the right to trust others who earn my trust.
  35. I have the right to forgive others and to forgive myself.

In our recovery process, we begin to discover that we have rights as individual human beings. As children and even as adults we may have ben treated by others as though we had few or no rights. We may have ourselves come to believe that we had no rights. And we may be living our lives now as though we have none.

The above personal bill of rights are taken from a compilation of several groups and may be considered until you have your own personal bill of rights that is a part of your recovery.

Rivercrest Hospital, San Angelo, Texas, 1991

I am not sure where I picked up this list, but know it was at least 10 years ago and probably in some program or other — perhaps at business college in their personal development segment — and it is on a piece of paper that was possibly printed on a word processor rather than a computer printer. Anyhow I think it is worthy of reading through even if you might think it a little "flower child". I won't tell you which one I have checked off on that list in particular, though even after all these years, I remember checking it off.

Later!
~ Darrell

156.

__________
¹ A "secretary" is a small desk in the form of a bookshelf with a leaf that folds down for a writing surface. Mine is a small bookshelf that my Grandfather made for one of my Uncles and was passed down to me when I was in Grade School.

For Remembrance Day -- 11 11 2008

Uniform Memory

When I was young,
I wore a uniform
Not a soldier proud
Going off to war
For King
For Country
Probably for
Adventure
To get off of the Farm
Or out of the Factory Plant
Or Dark Coal Mine.

But before it was over
Seeing friends new
Friends old
Strangers once
Become Brothers
Blown to bits
Shot to meat
Once vital
Now dead.

When I was young,
The uniform I wore
Was not of a soldier
For I was lucky
Luckier than most
For my years of youth
Mine were spent in peace
Peace perhaps relative
Peace perhaps born
On the shoulders of others.

But others
They paid horrible price
Perhaps
Not even truly knowing why
Just knowing it was needed
Not asking why
Just doing
Just dying
Just or unjust.

When I was young,
Yes, I was only a Cub
But somehow I could feel
Somehow I felt a connection
Somehow I could feel the loss
The loss of the missing
Perhaps the loss of others
Of others' fathers
Of others' grandfathers
Husbands, brothers, sons

But though not directly touched
Somehow I knew
Somehow I felt
Pride
Pain
Love
A minute of silence
That echoed in my heart
As strongly as if
The war was only yesterday
Not decades before

Now they are young,
Fresh faces wondering
At the few old wrinkled faces
The berets
The ribbons
The medals
The statues
The wreathes
The poppies
A tear
A moment of silence
One.one,  one.one,  one.one

But do they connect
Do they feel the loss
Does it make sense
Do they remember
Do they find it only
One more oddly named
Long weekend
In the so long school year
Is it  so sad

Now is it so sad
That these young
Are not so close
To the wars once remembered
Are these not those
That were fought for
That truly they would not
Need to know war  as the others before?

But it is sad.
For war has not left
More children must learn
More people must leave
Family
Friends
Freedom
To fight
For freedom
For feuds
For feudalism
For fuel

Now as it was it is in the end
They fight in the end
They fight for their life
They fight and see a friend
Blown up
Shot up
Burned up
Burned out
They fight bravely and for cause
They fight without question
For that the brave sometimes must do
They do it for themselves
But they also do it for you.

But it is sad
Another generation must morn
Lost soldiers
Not just Father,
Grandfather
Brother, Son
Uncle
But now also Mother
Grandmother
Sister, Daughter
Aunt, and Friend
Though truth be told
It has always been so
Just not always so much
In uniform

One day perhaps
It will only be
War remembered in memory
Fading, but not forgotten
Perhaps a scar but not a wound
And the children
Might wonder,

At the few old wrinkled faces
The berets
The ribbons
The medals
The statues
The wreathes
The poppies
A tear
A moment of silence
One.one,  one.one,  one.one

Darrell Wade Penner November 4th 2003

Go Fly a Kite!

Go Fly a Kite - Not Needing a Tale

Flying a kite... some might think it silly - standing in a field holding the sky up with a string.

I know that some folk might compete for the highest flying or the largest flying kite. I know some will compete for the prettiest or the scariest looking kite. There are competitions that are like aerial ballets - nearly as complicated as ones with planes. There are also fierce battles in the sky where strings are starched and embedded with cutting grit and opponents vie to cut each other's kit or string*. But I know that many if not most simply find an open field with the right amount of breeze and are happy to let the wind take the kite aloft.

Flying a kite is like fishing by a stream, playing fetch with a dog, playing ball with your child, a friendly game of golf, or a walk in the woods.

It is the aspect of getting out into the daylight, preferably with a loved one like a child or friend or lover with no great goal necessary for the best occasion of it. The catching of the fish is not the true goal, it is the sitting or standing by a babbling brook ith the trees whispering. Or being in the golden sun with wind rushing while playing with the kittenish breezes keeping your kite aloft.

You can go and buy a kite, which is pretty easy to do depending on the shops around and the time of year - or you can opt to make one. Making kites is not too difficult and can add to the whole experience. It might take a bit of experience and it would be good to get some kite plans and start with ones that are very foolproof to start with or that are adjustable on the field. I might recommend "Sled Kites" for starters if you are wanting to try make them.

You want to make sure the day is not too windy for your kite, but windy enough... that might take experimentation and you'll also want to be wary of overhead wires and kite eating trees, though it is the electrical hazards that are the greater importance, the later just frustration. Also you must be wary that you would not be somewhere that you might walk or run into trouble like running off the edge of a gully or ravine or onto a road while looking up at the kite.

But once you have that kite up there and feel those kitten kite tugs keeping the kite aloft, you will be enjoying some time with your thoughts. I figure as good as any Eastern or other meditation.

Later!
~ Darrell

55.

__________
*Forgive me if I have details of kit fighting wrong. I have only limited exposure to it.