Grumpy Old Man -- Drinking Problems

More Than DUI or Alcoholism

There is more to a "Drinking Problem" than driving drunk or under the influence; or issues of alcoholism to my mind — or at least not what I think people might traditionally consider.

Now I am not 100% prudish. If someone were to take a "nip" from a flask on public transit during rush hour or at a sporting event I'd look the other way — especially if they did so discretely and they were not bothering others. You must of course remember that for the most part here in Canada, drinking in public is frowned on. Meaning you aren't really allowed to drink in public unless at a licensed establishment. Of course, now many stadiums do sell alcohol, however they frown — legally — on BYOB¹. Public drunkenness is right out!

Getting back to public transit... I had the pleasure — displeasure — of sharing my bus-ride with two "gentlemen" who were travelling home from some job or practical job training which involved scaling poles or trees. They had their climbing belts and gear with them. That included rather nasty hammers, spikes, and husky ropes. I noted later that it also included some "belts". The one fellow really reminded me of my upstairs neighbour who more often than not would spend his recreational time "boozed up". It was only a short while later where I realized the resemblance -- though I admit I could be wrong and greatly biased. Here too was a man who drank whenever he was not working or at least he drank at any time he could do so. This included the time he might be commuting on the bus. I am going to assume that didn't include the time commuting to work as he likely had to be somewhat sober for work.

Granted he needn't be staggering drunk, but drunk enough that anyone around would note it and many would find themselves uncomfortable around him. His travelling partner, another fellow pole climber — who probably also worked very hard at work — was snorting back a few on the bus with him. The two of them weren't making a huge scene, but — and here is where the "drinking problems I am referring to come into play — were making the young woman (24-25) and young man (14-16) sitting by them very uncomfortable. The young man nearly jumped out of his skin when the empty "mickey²" flew past him to land on the shelf at the back of the bus.

Perhaps the high school student and the young college student should not have been upset by two hard drinking, hard working men enjoying their leisure time in their company... but we aren't talking about a pub or bar, nor even a restaurant or BBQ. We are talking about public transit just at the beginning of the rush hour. Somehow I think that people should be able to take advantage of public transit without being forced to face hard drinking.

The drinking problem is people being made uncomfortable... if I seem out of line consider this. The two men are incapable of restraining themselves from drinking for their trip home -- or even the 20 minutes the bus ride lasts. Twenty minutes is the entire duration of that bus route from start to finish. Perhaps they had had to endure a previous bus ride, but even so... if they could not wait to start drinking until the got where they were getting to, it shows that even sober they had issues of controlling their actions. These also were men carrying piked hammers and hatchets in addition to climbing spurs and ropes. They were rough looking customers who I think would take more than equal numbers of police to subdue if it ever came down to it.

So we have two fellows who "might" have problems controlling their impulses when sober, drinking on the bus while armed.

I think that this is in reality a "drinking problem" and not meaning their drinking problem but that of everyone around them.

I still haven't mentioned them talking about how they always liked to have a bottle in their pocket. That was in case someone came up behind them, so that they would always have something they could hit them across the face with, and how they never liked people who approached them from behind or who might talk behind their back... and when I heard them talking about it, I got the impression that people might pick fights with them half-way regularly. I wondered if their actions brought any of this onto themselves?

But that is the "Drinking Problem" I am referring to... that of making everyone around them uncomfortable without regard.

For that matter — yours truly even felt uncomfortable around them, not knowing what they might do — or not do — and I am not a small person.

Later!
~ Darrell

157.

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¹ BYOB -- Bring Your Own Bottle.

² A 375-ml (13.2 imperial fluid oz - 12.7 US fl oz) bottle of liquor such as whiskey.

Found in my notes - a personal bill of rights

Personal Bill of Rights

I found this personal bill of rights on a folded piece of paper tucked away in my secretary after my move last Fall. The list includes a couple paragraphs about it afterwards which I will include at the end of the list. I figured I would post it here:

MY PERSONAL BILL OF RIGHTS

   1. I have numerous choices in my life beyond mere survival.
   2. I have a right to discover and know myself.
   3. I have a right to follow my own values and standards.
   4. I have a right to recognize and accept my own value system as appropriate.
   5. I have a right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or violates my values.
   6. I have a right to dignity and respect.
   7. I have a right to make decisions.
   8. I have a right to determine and honor my own priorities.
   9. I have a right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
  10. I have the right to terminate conversations with people when it leads me to feel put down and humiliated.
  11. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems.
  12. I have a right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
  13. I have a right to expect honesty from others.
  14. I have a right to all of my feelings.
  15. I have a right to be angry at someone I love.
  16. I have a right to be uniquely me, without feeling I'm not good enough.
  17. I have a right to feel scared and to say "I'm afraid."
  18. I have the right to experience and then let go of fear, guilt, and shame.
  19. I have a right to make decisions based on my feelings, my judgement or any reasons that I choose.
  20. I have a right to change my mind at any time.
  21. I have a right to be happy.
  22. I have a right to stability — i.e., "roots" and stable healthy relationships of my choice.
  23. I have the right to my own personal space and time needs.
  24. There is no need to smile when I cry.
  25. It is OK to be relaxed, playful and frivolous.
  26. I have the right to be flexible and be comfortable with doing so.
  27. I have the right to change and grow.
  28. I have the right to be open and to improve communication skills so that I may be understood.
  29. I have a right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
  30. I have a right to be in a non-abusive environment.
  31. I can be healthier than those around me.
  32. I can take care of myself, no matter what.
  33. I have the right to grieve over actual or threatened losses.
  34. I have the right to trust others who earn my trust.
  35. I have the right to forgive others and to forgive myself.

In our recovery process, we begin to discover that we have rights as individual human beings. As children and even as adults we may have ben treated by others as though we had few or no rights. We may have ourselves come to believe that we had no rights. And we may be living our lives now as though we have none.

The above personal bill of rights are taken from a compilation of several groups and may be considered until you have your own personal bill of rights that is a part of your recovery.

Rivercrest Hospital, San Angelo, Texas, 1991

I am not sure where I picked up this list, but know it was at least 10 years ago and probably in some program or other — perhaps at business college in their personal development segment — and it is on a piece of paper that was possibly printed on a word processor rather than a computer printer. Anyhow I think it is worthy of reading through even if you might think it a little "flower child". I won't tell you which one I have checked off on that list in particular, though even after all these years, I remember checking it off.

Later!
~ Darrell

156.

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¹ A "secretary" is a small desk in the form of a bookshelf with a leaf that folds down for a writing surface. Mine is a small bookshelf that my Grandfather made for one of my Uncles and was passed down to me when I was in Grade School.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland - II

...still trying to.

I still like the snow and am sad to hear that it will likely not be with us here in Metro Vancouver in a week or so at most. But... you were waiting for the "but" weren't you? ...I am getting more disgusted at how pedestrians are being treated out here every day.

Understandably for out here, we have had a lot of snow in a short time that has lasted a long time... as contradictory as that might sound. What I mean is that we had a number of snowstorms in rapid succession -- in a short time -- and that the snow has lasted longer than it often does. People out here are used to getting 6 in - 15cm of snow and the rain washing it away after a day or two. Rather we have had 60-80cm - 24-30in of snow in a week or so without any appreciable thaw and now with the raising of temperatures to freezing and a bit above, the rain is being absorbed by the snow -- much like a sponge absorbing water -- rather than the snow being washed away. That is leading to the snow just becoming heavier and more prone to collapsing roofs, capsizing houseboats, and impeding traffic. It also is blocking catch basins turning streets and highways into impromptu lakes and streams.

Still what has got my goat is that very little provision is being made for pedestrians!

(Image to right from Image*After)

I was lucky enough to have been given a ride to my Parents for Christmas by my Sister and her Husband or I probably would not have been able to get out for Christmas. The sidewalks are piled high with snow, not just from the snowfall, but also from that ploughed from the streets and people clearing their driveways. Truely there are some souls who have shovelled their sidewalks and there are some folk who have shovelled their walks, but have no sidewalks along the roadway to keep clear other than to attempt to shovel away what the highway and city have ploughed to the side of the road.

People are forced to walk in the narrowed street or through snow deeper than their knees, and very often that is the brownish grey sort of snow that is scraped up off of the streets.

Even if a person were to make it to the bus stop -- if the are taking public transit -- they are faced with that same mountain of snow to hurdle in order to climb onto the bus from the curb.

While it is true that this has happened during the holiday season with less dependence on commuting by transit to work, I can only imagine what people are doing presently to get onto the buses. I do know that anyone with a mobility impairment is likely simply stuck at home unless they have some access to a car, whether a friend or relative to drive them or cash enough for cab.

I am very disappointed that the City and Chamber of Commerce are dropping the ball on this issue... but perhaps they all have their nice SUV with snow tires to travel with...

Later!
~ Darrell

152.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

...or trying to.

I rather like walking in the snow. I think snow is beautiful although it seems many of my friends do not care for it. I know they have their reasons and perhaps I might change my mind in time... or maybe I just have too many good memories of it.

(image to right from Image*After)

Unfortunately -- though when young I used to shovel our walks within 24 hours of every snowfall back when I lived in a city where snow actually came every winter -- here folk don't seem to care much about whether their walks are cleared of snow and ice regardless of municipal bylaw or the convenience of passersby. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that here it snows only for a week or three a year and that the snow most often disappears on its own a day or three after the fall. Sometimes the snow lingers and even when it doesn't it can be a very large problem for some folk.

There are folk who are quite fine travelling on foot on good dry pavement and sidewalks that find ice and snow to be an effective barrier for them even on journeys of a block. Some might have nearly invisible mobility issues like balance problems or coordination problems that you'd never note. They might never even use a cane. Others might use walkers or scooters which are stymied by nearly any level of snow or ice. Some scooters are better at handling it than others in case you are recalling seeing folk using scooters on snowy sidewalks.

(image to left from Image*After)

I know of some people who have artificial legs who can not walk on ice and snow and whose wheelchairs can not navigate it either. They go from independence to requiring special transit either by "Handidart" or specially equipped taxi.

You can't blame all the folk who don't clear their walks...

I often come across a nasty situation where the city and highways departments plough the roads and the icy half melted snow is left on the sidewalks and shoulders of the roads creating near glacial coverage as the dumped ice and snow hardens. It is almost like concrete and probably nearly impossible to shovel without a small tractor. It is also very hard to walk on because of its rough nature and tendency to have hard crust over softer under-layers -- difficult to walk on for able bodied folk, impossible for less able bodied, nearly impossible for a home owner to remove.

(Image to right from Image*After)

I can't really think of a solution for it all. For those places where the city or highways department ploughs the road, perhaps they should be less exuberant and take care not to cover the sidewalks or to provide a service to use municipal or highways equipment to clear the sidewalks. For other sidewalks... well there should be some way to get folk to actually clear their walks. Perhaps if someone actually followed through with one of those small city tractors and cleared the uncleared walks for a special price which would be outlined in a bylaw?

I really don't think people should be trapped in their homes because of inconsideration.

Later!
~ Darrell

150.

Running Bear in the Subway!

Bear Learns Fast Food is Deadly

I didn't want to get too humorous in my titles here because the reason I am writing it was that it made me very sad.

(image to left from Kitimat Sentinel)²

A "Subway®" restaurant -- sandwich shop-deli -- worker, Rebecca Branton¹, was surprised last Monday morning, Sept 15,2008, at 6:15 am² by a black bear in the restaurant. There is a video of the whole incident hosted by CBC which took place in Kitimat, BC.

The CBC News report of the incident is on YouTube.

The employee was in back when the bear entered the restaurant and she spotted movement on the security camera.³

CBC News:¹

"I was just back there making soup ...but I saw the door open and it was a bear,"

(image to right from CBC News)¹

Branton had the frame of mind to hurry to the washroom with her cellphone and lock herself in and phone for help, calling her parents. She had thought the bear might have used the handicap button to enter -- she had heard the buzzer for the door go off, but saw nothing in the morning dark.

Northern Sentinel:²

“I kept watching the door and then all of a sudden a bear came in and I was like ‘oh my god’.”

She explained, “It stood up on its hind legs and pulled the door open like a person and got down on all fours and the door closed behind it as it walked in.”

(Image to left from CBC news)¹

Branton called her mom first not being sure what to do, but called the police afterwards.² The police arrived quickly and her parents also came down. The 10 minutes or so were terrifying and she felt isolated in the washroom as she heard the bear moving about in the shop. The bear sniffed around and at one point hopped on the counter.

It didn't apparently eat anything before jumping back down and eventually made its way out of the Subway® restaurant. Conservation Officers also arrived and set up a watch at the Dairy Queen® lot -- where the bear had come through to get to the Subway®.²

(image to right from The Guardian)⁴

Sadly this curious young bear -- approximately two-years-old -- was later put down by Conservation officers in the downtown area of Kitmat. They felt there was a danger that this bear would continue to return to the area and coming back being a danger to the public. Some might wonder why they didn't tranquilize the bear. I wondered it, but then considered... in the area around Kitimat, with all the wilderness, black bears might not be considered that special -- sadly.

(image on left from Subway® Restaurants International)

I feel sad for this intelligent creature who was so curious and intelligent. In the video he reminds me somewhat of a curious house cat or dog looking around where he might be caught doing something naughty. There was something to the curiosity and intelligence which struck a chord with me when I heard the handsome creature was destroyed. It often ends poorly for the animal when wildlife and humans interact.

Later!
~ Darrell

143

¹ "B.C. black bear pops in for fast food" CBC News, Oct 1, 2008; CBC.ca.

² "Hairy start to Subway worker's day" Kitimat Sentinel, Published Sept 24, 2008 (Web Page dated: Oct 1, 2008); NorthernSentinel.com.

³ CBC News reports the incident happening last Thursday (Sept 25) while the video shows "2008 09 15". The Northern Sentinel article reports it being "Monday" and considering the article was published September 24 puts credence to the Monday September 15 date for the incident.

⁴ "Black bear checks out sandwich shop" Oct 1, 2008 Charolottetown, The Guardian

Of Belts and Books, Briefcases and Backbacks... Part-1

Belting One On -- Front Seat Bad-Backseat Good

I come from a reckless generation... perhaps lucky we were wreck-less.

When I grew up, cars seldom had seatbelts as standard equipment -- as I mentioned in "Wandering Wags: Travelling Time With Your Dog" -- with our first car with seatbelts being a '66 Meteor. (image to right -- image from "Winged Messenger - Canadian Cars") That is referring to our Parent's car, that is. Our '72 Mercury was the first care that had convenient seatbelts and we only really started regularly using them towards 1976 or so. Those were such reckless times...

Back then too, my Sister and I considered it a treat to ride up in the front seat with Dad. There really were only a few times when that happened: When Mom stayed home -- she didn't drive and so the passenger seat was Mom's seat; when we went on a long highway trip and my Sister got carsick -- and Mom would have her sit up front with her; when there were more than two guest passengers in the car meaning that the back seat was full so there'd be three up front; and when on a few rare occasions when the trunk was so full of stuff -- like when Grandpa gave Dad a side of beef one Christmas -- that the suitcases took up the half of the back seat that my Sister normally sat on and so she had to sit in the front seat. Those were such reckless times...

(image to left, 1972 Mercury Monterey -- image from "Down On The Street")

I won't say my Parents were neglegent. Things were different in the 60's and early 70's. My Parents were quite strict actually that my Sister and I were to stay seated in the car while we travelled and that we were not to be standing on the seat like it seemed at least half the parents let their children do. They also didn't let us hang out the window like the family dog either like it seemed some families did. Even our dogs were required to keep their heads inside the car... true they were allowed to have their front paws on the back of the front seat so their nose could get out the window, but they had to keep their head in the car.

As time went on, accelerated -- perhaps with my defensive driving courses which my parents thought it was a good idea to have -- I began to figure it a good idea to wear a seatbelt. I worked to get myself into the habit of wearing one which was enforced in Driver Training. I decided I would always wear one driving and that it became part of my driving ritual when I got my first car when I was 17. I have always worn one since if there was a seatbelt and if it was at all possible or prudent. On some jobs as a security officer doing patrols on the dock it wasn't prudent. Driving without wearing a seatbelt feels naked to me.

Airbags seemed like a good idea to me. I did worry about people deciding not to wear seatbelts becausethey had airbags, but... people will be people. I do recall there being discussions early on about the dangers of airbags, but airbags were only found on upscale cars as options. Issues about dangers of airbags to children and smaller adults were something that were in the hands of the people who opted for the airbags. Things were different when airbags started becoming the norm. (airbag deployment image to right -- image from "GarageLibrary.com")

That is history. Since then seatbelt use, like helmet use on motorbikes and now bicycles, has become manditory and enforced by law. (image of child in bicycle helmet to left from "HAMAX") There have been stricter and stricter regulation on seating for children riding in motor vehicles. At first the regulations did rankle me because I was a poor student and though I had a car never had much money and I tended to taxi around friends who did not have cars yet had children. I could not afford to buy carseats for children or modify my older though well loved and cared for cars. Still since then there have been put into place resources for low income families to buy carseats for their kids even if they don't have a car so that they have them when it comes time to transport their children.

I think that carseats are a good idea, just like I think seatbelts are. (image to right from U.S. Census Bureau) I think that other safety equipment like airbags are good things too.

But there is something that has been bothering me... it is about the whole thing of it being a bad thing for children to be in the front seat of a car. I can agree that if the airbag is dangerous to children and small adult, that a child should ride in the backseat. ...but... I think there is a problem -- the problem not being with where the children ride, but why they must ride there. I think that the problem is with airbag design and rather than moving children and small adults out of the front seat, airbags should be made safer!

I see many arguments about the back seat being inherently safer from objects penetrating the interior of the car or crumple damage. There is validity there, and long, long ago I recall Mom talking about the front passenger seat being called "the suicide seat" -- though a lot of that was from pre-seatbelt days due to the fact that the front passenger would be catapulted through the windshield since they didn't have anything in front of them to stop them. The driver had the steering wheel and the back seat passengers had the back of the front seat to stop them from hurtling forward... remember this was before people so regularly wore seatbelts.

Okay so there were more dangers in the front passenger seat. That is especially true I know when nobody wears seatbelts. I think though where the argument wears thin is that if the back seat is safer... why let even the driver sit in the front seat? I know that sounds stupid. But if the seat is dangerous, then should anyone be allowed to sit there? Couldn't the front seat be made as safe as the back?

(image to left of forward facing car seat from "AAP -- Car Safety Seats: A guide for Families -- 2008")

I think in part the airbags and shoulder harness in the front seats -- especially for the passenger seat -- were to increase that safety, as were things like padded dashboards and so forth.

I think rather than all the propaganda to push children to the back seat, airbags that are not dangerous to them should be designed! There is a flaw in the airbags if they injure. I would have thought more research would have been done in the time since they were invented to solve this problem. There are better airbag systems coming out now and in development, but I rather think that kids are being asked to sit in the back of the bus.

Later!
~ Darrell

130.