Those We Can Hug and Those We Can't
I believe in life after death so I don't think that death is an ending for a loved one. Of course I still grieve at the passing of that loved one. I know that there are some who might not understand that if I truly believe that they continue on.
But even with there being eternal life, there can still be loss and stages of grief. We can very much miss our loved ones.
I see love as timeless and the love we can feel for others as being timeless as well. My love for a friend does not end when they leave the room, the suite, the apartment, the city, the province, or even country. Even if they are on another continent I still feel love for them. I keep them in my heart and cherish my feelings for them. For my good friends, I know that they think of me as well when we are apart.If you consider a loved one, can you feel them in your heart and the love between them and you? I know I can feel it like something that actually exists on a physical level.
In life I have grow used to instant communication. The telephone has been for a large part behind that. We reach out and we can talk to most anyone in "the now". When I was little though more communication was done through postal mail. I can remember when Canada Post brought in the national "Postal Code" system. They were touting nearly next day service in the same city and the day after in other major centres with rural centres only being a little after that. They never quite delivered on that promise... I still expect mail to take nearly a week... or like 5 business days.
Getting back on track - sort of - I have thought about just how long mail used to take in the days of sail when relatives travelled to faraway places to start new lives. Even up to the 1950's well after the days of sailing ships - before the time of frequent air travel for your typical family - contact was often by letter which might take weeks to arrive at the destination.
There have been many times a person has been reading a letter sent by a loved one and all is well, only to find out that at the time they were reading that letter their loved one was ill or actually dead.
But, while reading that letter, at that moment for them that loved one was really and vitally alive!
I think that this feeling of love and life are crucial and have a reality. If the friend or relative were alive, you would think of them really as someone you loved, that you simply couldn't just reach out and hug - someone you couldn't walk or drive to in an hour and see.
The person whose letter they might be reading who had passed on would really be little different. They would be a friend or other loved one that they simply could not hug.
I think that when you are talking about or thinking about a person, in some way they are with you and that it doesn't matter if they are alive or dead. We carry a bit of them with us in our heart and soul.
So when someone that is close to us dies, then it is good to talk about them and in particular to share common experiences with others. I think that draws them closer to be with us and there is a gathering of those friends we can hug and those we can't.